WTF does 'VeXed' mean?

Vexed

Adjective. 1. annoyed, confused, or agitated. 2. much debated and discussed

Why did I call this blog Generation VeXed??

For those of you in the age group of Gen X (born 1965-1980), especially women, I would be surprised if you aren't living in a constant state of 'vexed' - I know I am!

Living between the demands of aging parents and teen/adult children, our own aging and peri/post menopause experiences is a constant juggle. Demanding careers, relationships (single, married, divorced, remarried and anything in between) and a body that isn't doing what it used to—how can we not be vexed all the time??

Here is a quick guide to how my girlfriends and I are coping...

(#9 is my personal mantra!)

1. Embrace Your Inner Cynic

We were raised on 80's music, a cloud of hairspray, The Breakfast Club, and an overwhelming sense that the world was doomed (thanks, to the Cold War, acid rain and, oddly, a lot of concern over quicksand). So, if you're feeling a little disillusioned about the current state of things, don’t worry—you’re just staying true to your roots! Roll your eyes at the chaos, shake your head at the youth, and channel that inner cynic into sarcastic memes. Memes are our love language.

2. Skincare Is the New Punk Rock

Remember when you’d rebel by wearing Doc Martens, extraordinary amounts of black eyeliner, and safety pins all over your jeans? Well, now you're rebelling by slathering on serums, saving for Botox and refusing to go to bed without slapping on a sheet mask. Look, we didn’t know the sun was evil back then—being slathered in baby oil and Sun-In in our hair so we were sunburnt and had yellow hair? But now? SPF 50 is our anti-aging war paint. And those 20-step Korean skincare routines? Yeah, we’re all in. Just consider it DIY for your face.

3. Hot Flashes: The Encore You Didn’t Ask For

If you’ve hit that perimenopausal sweet spot, congratulations! You’re now the proud owner of random, hellish temperature surges. Remember when we used to go to concerts and leave drenched in sweat from dancing to Duran Duran? Well, now it’s the same thing, except you’re in your kitchen, and it’s 3 a.m., and instead of Simon LeBon, it’s just your hormones rocking out.

Pro tip: Always have a fan nearby. Or ice-cold water in your Stanley. Or just move into the freezer section of your local grocery store.

4. The “Is That Music or Noise?” Dilemma

Speaking of music, there will come a moment when you hear a song and think, “Is this music or is my computer dying?” You’ll say something like, “Back in my day, we had real music!” Then you’ll remember you were the generation that thought Nine Inch Nails and Soundgarden was soothing background noise. Try to remember that you were once the youth that older generations worried about, and don’t be too hard on today’s kids, except when it comes to mumble rap. That’s where I draw the line.

5. Social Media: I’m Too Old for This… but I Can’t Stop

We Gen Xers are the awkward middle children of social media. We joined Facebook when it was still cool, but now it’s a digital retirement home. Instagram’s all about aesthetics we don’t have time for, and TikTok? Don’t even get me started. We scroll past 15-second clips of Gen Z teaching us how to drink water properly, wondering how any of this makes sense. Yet, here we are, trying to figure out if we should post about our latest garden project or just share a meme about napping. Honestly, if I have to film myself dancing for clout, I’ll just pass, thanks.

6. Fashion: Are We Retro or Just Old?

Gen Z is rocking mom jeans; we can’t tell if we’re relieved or offended. The 90s are back in style, but now they’re "vintage." You could literally shop your closet from high school and suddenly be the coolest mom in the PTA. On the downside, all those crop tops in stores are just a cruel reminder that we’re not 22 anymore—and that’s fine! We had our turn. The best part? Comfort is now chic. Rock those Birkenstocks like they’re designer, and wear that oversized sweater like you meant to dress like a hobo.

7. Dealing with Technology: Where’s the Damn Button?

We may have been the first generation to grow up with video games and computers, but now everything is an app. Want to turn on your coffee maker? There’s an app for that. Want to adjust your thermostat? Another app. Back in the day, we just wanted something with a button we could aggressively press until it worked. Now we’re yelling at Alexa to figure out why our smart fridge won’t connect to the Wi-Fi.

8. Self-Care: It’s Not Just for Millennials

Remember when self-care meant drinking coffee and eating carbs? Well, it’s time to level up. We’re talking real self-care now—like therapy, boundaries, and making time to nap without guilt. Forget about “doing it all.” We did that for 20 years and got nothing but back pain and a disdain for multitasking. Now it’s time to say “no” more often, take walks because you want to, and indulge in things that actually bring joy.

9. The Art of Not Giving a F***

The greatest gift of midlife is that sweet, sweet freedom of finally not caring what other people think. By now, you’ve survived cutting your own bangs, questionable relationship choices, raising kids (or fur babies), and a global pandemic. You’ve earned the right to say that if it isn't a "Hell Yes!", it's a "No" to things that don’t serve you. Embrace the chaos, and laugh at the absurdity of it all. Life’s too short to worry about whether or not someone else approves of your choices. Want to start a rock band at 50? Do it. Want to wear pyjamas to the grocery store? Go for it. Go back to university? Why not? Want to take up crocheting and complain about your neighbours? You’ve earned it.

Conclusion: We’ve Got This, Gen X

Listen, this time of life may be weird, but we’re Gen X—we were born to handle weird. We’re the last generation to grow up without smartphones, the first to use the internet, and the masters of balancing existential dread with dark humour. So, stock up on your favourite snacks, binge-watch some old TV shows, and remember: we survived dial-up. We’ll survive midlife too.

Now, pass me my reading glasses. I think I just got a text from my teenager asking me what a mailing address is.